More Ramblings

• I had my second PT session. More leg bending and stretching. The PT also massaged my patella, which really weirds me out. Ever since I first hurt my knee back in high school, I get squeamish anytime somebody even brushes against my knee. I just do. In a few weeks, I’ll be expected to massage my own patella on a daily basis, something I’m dreading. The PT also performed a basic hamstring stretch. Pinning my left leg to the table, she slowly raised my straightened right leg as close to an L-shape as I could tolerate. Well, my hamstrings are tighter than Jerry Jones’s face. Even before my surgery I wasn’t flexible. I guess I should’ve taken yoga with Christina. Right now, I fear the hamstring stretches more than anything else during rehab. At the end of the session, my PT hooked me up an electro-shock stimulator. After wrapping my knee in cellophane and suffocating it in an ice pack, the stimulator sent a steady barrage of electric pricks and bolts to both sides of my knee for 15 minutes. It sounds very East German, and I wouldn’t be surprised to learn the SS used something similar. Luckily for me, I wasn’t being tortured.

• On Friday night, I got a change of scenery, moving from the bed to the living room couch so Christina and I could watch, Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Solid movie, though the guy’s excessive whining early in the movie initially made him unlikable. Plus, it didn’t help he was frontally naked in a few early scenes. Caught me totally off-guard. Movies should contain warnings about this. Thankfully, both the female stars – Mila Kunis and Kristen Bell – were extremely good-looking, Mila in particular.

• I spend 6-8 hours in the CPM machine every day. I’ve previously described the CPM as a motorized, oversizes knee bends that mechanically bends my knee. I made that description before I actually used the machine. The description remains accurate, but a better analogy would be a motorized, open-faced walking boot/cast with carpet lining. I usually use my CPM in bed. Christina lifts the machine (which isn’t exactly light) onto the bed, and slowly slides it forward until my foot rests flush against the walking boot/cast. Each day, I increase the ROM by 5 degrees. Today, I’m at 75 degrees, where I’ll remain until I see my OS on Monday. I need his clearance before going beyond 75 degrees. I can’t just turn on the machine and let the bending begin. I have to slowly work my way up to the final ROM number. I typically start at a ROM 5 degrees less than my target number, and increase it 2-3 degrees, until I reach my final ROM. It takes about 20 seconds for the CPM machine to rise 75 degrees, and another 20 seconds to descend. The first few knee bends are difficult. As my knee reaches its ROM apex, my body tenses despite my best efforts to remain relaxed, forcing a grimace during those final few degrees. After all, my knee is grinding its way through scar tissue, or whatever junk lingers inside my surgically repaired knee. After 30 or so minutes, my knee warms up. I eventually relax, seduced by the gentle swaying of the CPM, like my knee’s a baby in a rocking chair. Sometimes I read during CPM time; sometimes I nap. The other day, we took our CPM show on the road to the living room floor. Christina needed to do some PTA work on the desktop computer. Because the portable DVD player wasn’t working, I did my CPM on the floor in front of the living room TV. I watched 2 more episodes of Mad Men. Great show. Anyway, the floor is far less forgiving than my bed. While the bed “gives” a little when my knee lowers to 0 degrees, the floor holds steady. Consequently, my knee hyperextends fully. It’s like having a UFC fighter slap on a knee bar. And this discomfort doesn’t go away no matter how warmed up my knee gets. Not good times. I don’t think I’ll be doing my CPM on the floor anytime soon.