Week 16 Update

Phase 3 – the so-called, “Remodeling Phase,” which lasts from Months 3-8 – is full of highs and lows. For example, I’ll experience long stretches with no limping, and for the first time since the surgery my knee will actually feel almost normal. This false positive causes my mind to wander ahead, wondering when I’ll be able run and jump again. Like a bolt of lightning shattering a late-night silence, however, my knee will suddenly “give out,” severing those wishful thoughts and serving as a brutal reminder that, nope, my knee’s still jacked up.

During these moments, I often reflect on the various decisions I made and actions I took that resulted in my knee injuries. Nothing good comes from traveling down this path of “what ifs.” If you fixate too much on the past, not only will you drive yourself insane, you’ll also lose focus on the recovery ahead, which is the only time period you can control. I felt all grown-up when I finally realized this.

Right now, my biggest concern is the random crackling or clicking noises in my knee. The cracking and popping don’t hurt, and even seem to provide some relief. But the sounds are a bit un-nerving. I don’t know if they are an indication of over- or under-growth in the graft area, or whether I’m still bursting through scar tissues or adhesions, just part of the normal healing process.

I’m also concerned about my inability to “squat” on my bum knee past 30 degrees, the critical point at which the knee truly begins bearing weight. I realize that’s the major litmus test of my recovery, and I’m not yet to the point where I can even try full knee bends. In fact, full squats are probably a month away. However, I want (no, need) to figure out whether I’m on the right path. Likewise, I want to know if/when the OS plans to take an MRI of my knee to see how my cloned cartilage is healing. Frankly, the hardest part of the recovery now is not knowing whether the cloning magic worked.

My next OS appointment is Wednesday, and I hope to get some answers. Luckily for me, there’s also a major knee surgery conference in the area next week, and I understand that not only is the pioneer of ACI knee surgeries attending, he’s also stopping by my OS’s practice during my visit. Assuming this works out, I’ll get a free examination by the Michael Jordan of ACI.