The Beginning

I'm about to be cloned. Not all of me, though I wouldn't mind having an extra set of hands. Just my knee. Or, more specifically, the cartilage inside my knee. This blog will chronicle my experience. Let me explain.

I'm about to undergo a knee operation called, Autologous Chondrocyte Implantation, or ACI. It's actually a 2-part procedure. On November 14, 2008, I finished step one. The good doctor examined my knee arthroscopically to gauge the extent of the damage. Once he determined it was pretty bad (note: not really a medical term), the doctor harvested some cartilage cells for re-growth. Harvested is such a cool word; it conjures up images of sci-fi movies with aliens capturing humans to eat them later. Alright, I digress. The doctor basically scraped off some cartilage and sent it to a special lab to re-grow the cartilage. This process lasts about one month, and then it's time for step two.

When the cloned cartilage is ready, I head back to the surgery center. Once again, I'll make small talk with the OR Nurses, hope the anaestesiologist didn't arrive straight from a 3-day bender, and get my knee ripped open. While the first operation is performed arthroscopically, the second one is the real deal. It's called an arthrotomy, which is a fancy way of saying the patient wakes up with one of those Frankenstein scars stretching vertically across the knee. By the way, I wish I would've studied Latin in high school. Sure, Spanish helped me with the ladies growing up (Mexican chicks dig my Sabado Gigante impersonation), but knowing Latin would've made it easier to understand what exactly was happening to my knee.

Back to the surgery. After ripping open my knee, the doctor glues the cloned cartilage to the "defects" - also called lesions -- in my knee. In my case, I have two lesions: a 10x14mm defect on the medial facet of the patella, and a 12x15x15mm defect on the medial trochlear groove, which extended down to the intercondylar notch. The damage went almost down to the subchondral bone. Now, I have zero clue what the hell I just typed really means. I just copied what the operative report said. But I know knees aren't supposed to have these kind of defects. And it's never a good thing when bones get exposed. Just ask Joe Theisman.

Right now, I'm waiting to see if the lab had any problems cloning my cartilage. While I obviously want them to grow as much of that stuff as they can, part of me secretly hopes the lab says, "Sorry, sir, it was impossible to clone somebody as perfect as you." I don't think that'll happen, but a man's gotta dream, right? Once I hear from the lab, I'll meet again with my OR (that's code for operating surgeon) to schedule surgery #2. And then I'll start getting physically and mentally ready for the operation.

This blog will chronicle my surgical exploits and the grueling rehab that's expected to last at least the next year, and likely will continue into the following year, too. In Chinese parlance, 2009 will be The Year of the Rehab. The blog will also give me a creative outlet to vent, especially when I run out of Hillbilly Heroin to dull the pain.